Typing a blog post while listening to the mp3, waiting for my duty to start. Listening to “officially missing you” because I really miss my baby so much, and my family too. I should be at home eating dinner with them right now, counting down to Christmas, but I’m not.

Today made me hate the army so much, made me feel like I’m at the wrong place at the wrong time, made me hate the person who thought of national service. But what can I do other than to go through this bad night quickly? Nothing.

Seems like I will be in the center of the forest when the clock strikes 12 tonight, oh well.

And word by word I’m losing the mood to continue my post.

I shall continue waiting for my duty while SMSing my baby, Coz only she can make my time go faster and make this a less painful Christmas.

Merry Christmas everybody!

I’m just back because I just feel like blogging suddenly, but this is totally normal because sometimes I just have this feeling to blog and after a little while it just dies off, so don’t expect a regular update from me.

It have been almost a year that I have not updated this blog, but trust me, things now are 10000000000000000000 times better than a year ago because my baby made my life so much enjoyable and meaningful.

Since I’m serving the so called national service right now, I have some things to blog about, might be totally off topic to most people but I just want some thoughts out of my mind.

I think it have been like almost one month that I had passed out from BMT and I can seriously say that I do miss it. Things are so different from BMT and unit here, especially when it comes to the people closest to you in your army days, your so called bunk mates.

I do miss my bunkmates in BMT, because you seriously go through shit with them. Some friends I have in BMT made me go pass my limit and you know, sort of pushes you on when you think you have achieved the max.

Nowadays, I really do miss the times when I have my own time own target buddy with me, doing our own jogs, training together and working towards a target like passing IPPT so we don’t get to stay back on weekends for remedial training? That’s what is lacking here in my camp.

Now, all I have is myself to push myself because until now I haven’t found a friend or a buddy that can go through shit together with. Maybe because all of us have already gone through shit and life here is too good, maybe because they, similar to myself, already have bonded with friends and want to stick to their friends..

Let’s hope someone can prove me wrong, now, all I have to depend on is my precious baby and my family to push me on! But seriously, as long as they are with me, that’s enough! Will update again soon! See ya!

Today, I woke up, I feel… Disappointed? Because I woke up and everyone’s still sleeping, it’s cold, just that it’s the air-condition.

Everyone’s sleeping to their heart’s content while I, woke up and feel to be so alone, especially after what had happened.

Every single time I’m alone with no one else with me, I feel so fed up and miserable? It made me think how nice it is to have someone to talk to no matter where you are, that’s like a week ago, even though I’m alone.

It makes me feel as if I have to restart everything again, from the start.

I won’t die, and won’t see that as a way out. But I don’t know what’s going on with me.

Yes, I love the life in school…

The timetable is quite relaxed, not so tiring but the project nonsense is back again, especially BD.. I’m so damn reluctant to do BD as always.

And well, some things are really sad, for me that is, I still see things that I hate happen right in front of me. And I don’t see that changing, for now.

I always ask myself, what can I do, seriously?

Maybe because school is starting soon once again?

I have no idea how this last semester is going to be like because as usual, I’m afraid some things are gonna happen. I don’t think I’m going to have any problems with the academic aspects of school, neither am I gonna have problems with friends since I’m gonna see them like everyday?

So, see you guys in school soon!

Did I do many sinful things for the past 20 years?

Or is this just I have to go through no matter what?

It’s like, since year 1 till now, coming to the end of year 3, I find that I didn’t achieve much.

I kept wondering, who actually have me in their mind? Who takes me as someone that they are afraid to lose contact with? What’s gonna happen after poly? Will my close friends degrade to just hi bye friends in the future?

It is unbelievable that for this whole holiday, I only met some of the friends that i considered close once. I would have used work as an excuse because I have simply no time, but I just feel there are more than just that. Maybe because I don’t feel the enthusiasm at all? Don’t have the feeling that they’ll look foward to it, don’t have the feeling that they really want it.

Worrying for every actions I do almost every minute, thinking of the damn what ifs every second. Don’t want to know what will happen in the future. Seriously, why the hell do I have to go through this? How do I stand, WHAT am I in their heart? How much do they remember me? Do they only remember me only when I jump up and say hey I’m right here?

Why do people only do things I tell them only when I remind them and after awhile? Things just go back to normal. And I won’t dare to remind them again.

And who can I trust? People tell me to trust them, or maybe its just a non-verbal thing. But seriously, how many freaking times am I left out of the dark when decisions are made without me knowing and when people say I’m a nice person, do they really mean that? I seriously don’t know.

For so many years of course I’d want people to treat me as important, and from the right person, the right people, but do I get the importance that makes me feel normal? I don’t think so.

I hate it when people talks behind people’s back speculating what the hell is happening and thinks it should not be happening.

What I do, is what I WANT to do, so seriously, you have the right to give opinions but you don’t have the damn rights to WANT me to do it your way.

If after 500000 times of telling me off doesn’t work, or 50000 times of hearing you say shit about me, and I still don’t change, it shows I DON’T GIVE A DAMN. And the only thing you should do is CARRY ON WITH YOUR DAMN FREAKING LIFE? And leave me alone?

All this shit doesn’t make sense seriously. The only thing that make sense and will make sense is that what I do doesn’t affect your lives, so seriously, mind your own businesses.

This is to whoever made my life like shit because of what you think.

Everyone of us are so excited for it, during the exams all of us wished that time can just fly and we will get the chalet like NOW?!

Now, how I wished we can turn back time and relive this chalet once again! Because we had a super fun and nice time there.

So the day started off at 12:18.. I made my way to Pasir Ris MRT.. On the way there, I gave felly fel a ride.. She have to thank me if not she’ll be damn late.. hahah!!!

The moment we reached there, Fel decided to give them a scare.. LOL!!!

All of them are really scared by fel’s attempt, hahaha, look at sheena’s reaction! Look at the satisfied grin on fel’s face!! LOL!

Junyu being sad, maybe because she’s unwilling to push the trolley… LOL!

Sheena and her tongue thingy, plus junyu behind the scenes..

JUNYU AH JUNYU!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!

Junyu happily shopping!

What’s a chalet without candies and sweets, right?

Fel being happy…. Yet don’t know what drinks to buy..

Junyu analyzing the price and doing on the spot price comparisons.

Junyu’s super pro prawn choosing, she say the eye must pop out then fresh… hahahaha…

Junyu and sheenar!

Mineral water shopping

These are the things that accumulates on your very own shopping trolley!!

Hahahah, such a nolstalgic moment!!! Grocery shopping!

Buying sushi to satisfy our CURRENT HUNGER… Yes, we’re damn hungry at that time.

Hahaha, Love this pic, the emotions on their faces are really priceless!!!

And look, THIS IS WHAT THEY DO WHEN ME AND JUNYU IS SUFFERING AT THE RECEPTION COUNTER.. LOL!!!! DAMN FUNNY LAH!! Camwhore in the car!

Hai Hong and Avan, first thing come to chalet we saw a majong table outside, and THEY’RE DAMN EXCITED… LOL!!! Then we faster CHOP first…

And omg, the plane that I used to play like 8 years ago. Memories!

LOL @ SZE KEE!

Junyu photogenic sia!!! LOL

Pei jin and junyu!

Hai hong favourite!! LOL!!!

Getting the bbq started, as you can see, the BBQ pit is super super small!!

Avan Cool sia!!

Junyu and Fel, crazy couple.. ahahaha JOKING!!!

FELICIA TAN YU JIE!

AHAHAHAH JUNYU PRICELES FACE!!!! Pei Jin too, kay poh ah!!

Yes, it takes 4 of us to buy a bag of charcoal, like LOL?

Caption says it all!


Fel is like super smart lah! Use this pail to put ICE to cool our drinks as our fridge is like spoilt.

TOILET QUEEN!!! hahhahaha!!! Sorry cant get a clearer picture!

Our food, THANKS TO SZE KEE!!! She’s a good cook!

Junyu’s Specialty Stingrays

The damn useless potatos…

Fel bua the potato and I’ll wrap the potato with the aluminium foil, potato team!!! hahaha!

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Err…. No comment, aahhaaha..

My god, looks delicious… Again, thanks to sze kee!!!

Hahahaha, yeah fel loves crab sticks!

Zoom in on Sze Kee’s bbqed chicken and prawns!

Sze Kee is damn busy, she’s blurred!

LOOK SO DAMN GREAT ISN’T IT??? It’s not so damn great after I opened it up and tried it. SHIT.

Transfering the potato into the charcoal areas for extreme burning!

Sze Kee and Fel posing with the potato!

Shows how much they’re enjoying the BBQ..

LOL!

Time to enjoy the food!

All the girls!!! Except Jolene was not here yet!

The majong gang doing that they are best at..

That’s what we did to adam, hai hong and avan’s phones.. CHANGING THEIR WALLPAPER TO PICTURES OF THE GIRLS!

A ferris wheel inside the building!

Playing FOOS BALL, I think me, fel and sheena lost!

Yep, you’re right, we are going to watch a movie. Out of all the movies, the only one that suits our taste is… The Proposal

Sze kee crazy about movie!!

Sheena so happy!

Hai hong so sian!

Fel being happy over the super cheap bbq meal!

LOL@ Junyu’s face!

Happy diners!

This looks so much better than my spicy chicken shit.

Jolene damn excited to start eating!

My spicy chicken, THE SPICIEST SHIT I’VE EVER EATEN!! Spoilt my dinner… seriously!

Pre-snap camwhoring!

Felicia damn excited la!

Here are the results!

And the results!

And the results!

More results!

More and more results!

A nice framed result!

This is junyu’s facebook display pic!

Extreme eye shadows

I love this, love the effect! So.. creepy!! LOL

FINALLY!!


Four Girlies!

Fel and sheena…

Me and junyu!

Junyu and pei jin…

Camwhoring in the arcade!

Usual camwhorers!! hahaah!!

Down view!

Me and Fel..

Group shot..

All the guys..

The futuristic entrance to the bowling alley!

Junyu’s playing!

Fel’s favourite pose!

Seriously, why we looked so shocked..

The funny twins…

OMG SZE KEE’S LEADING!!

Hahaha, 4 5 6!!

Look at fel!!!

Wah!!! 77, 88!!!

This is Sze Kee Xiao Jie!

IRRITATING COUPLE… LOL! They are so in their own world.. omg

LOOK AT FEL’S SMILE!!! So…. sleepy!

Sheena’s peace sign to END IT ALL!!!

ONE AND ONLY BEST CHALET EVER!!!!

BYE EVERYBODY!!!

Good night!